Breaking the Cycle of Enabling

The process of breaking enabling behaviors begins not with actions but with thoughts. In his perceptive book “Get Out of Mama’s House,” Dr. Arthur Ben Faust highlights the crucial role of renewing the mind in adopting change. Drawing from biblical wisdom and practical advice, he illustrates how a shift in mindset can empower both parents and their adult children to embrace independence and accountability. The power of a positive mindset lies within us and depends on our ability to think and work towards empowering.

Renewing the mind is a concept deeply rooted in Scripture. Romans 12:2 states: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This verse highlights the idea that true transformation begins internally. For parents entrenched in enabling behaviors, a renewed mind allows them to see their actions in a new light, moving from away from fear decisions to empowerment with strong faith.

The mindset behind enabling often stems from a place of love but is clouded by worry, guilt, or a desire to protect. Parents may feel responsible for their child’s happiness, leading them to intervene in situations that the child should navigate independently. While this approach may temporarily relieve, it ultimately undermines the child’s growth. By renewing their minds, parents can shift their perspective, recognizing that true love involves preparing children to thrive independently.

In the book, he emphasizes that renewing the mind is an ongoing process, requiring intentional effort and reliance on God’s truth. One practical method is daily Scripture meditation. Verses like Philippians 4:8, which encourages focusing on what is noble, pure, and praiseworthy, serve as anchors for positive and empowering thoughts. This practice helps parents replace doubts and fears with confidence in God’s plan for their children.

Prayer and mindfulness also play a vital role in this transformation. Parents can release the emotional burden of control by bringing concerns before God. This act of surrender fosters peace, allowing them to approach their relationships with clarity and purpose. Additionally, journaling provides a space for reflection, helping parents identify enabling patterns and chart a course for change.

Breaking the cycle of enabling is not without challenges. Parents may face resistance from their children or struggle with feelings of guilt and uncertainty. However, as 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” This promise encourages parents to persevere, trusting in God’s strength to guide them.

The impact of renewing the mind extends beyond the parent-child relationship. It creates a ripple effect, growing healthier family dynamics and setting an example for future generations. By embracing this change, parents can model resilience, accountability, and faith, inspiring their children to do the same.

In a culture that often equates love with overprotection, the concept of renewing the mind offers a refreshing perspective. It challenges parents to look beyond immediate comfort and focus on long-term growth and independence. This shift benefits the child and empowers parents to live with purpose and peace.

In the book, the message reminds us that transformation begins within. By aligning their thoughts with God’s truth, parents can break free from enabling patterns and foster relationships built on mutual respect and trust. As they renew their minds, they unlock the growth potential, creating a legacy of empowerment that echoes through generations.